Day 29: The Wilderness is Looking Pretty Good

Scripture Focus: Song of Solomon 1-2

“Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman.” —Proverbs 21:19, NKJV

“Most people know I’m a quadriplegic. I cannot fold clothes; but I can pray for, cheer on, encourage, support, listen to, applaud, and praise my husband. The secular feminist movement has virtually neutered men’s masculinity. As women, we can help reinforce those characteristics about a man that are truly praiseworthy. In so doing, we not only fulfill our Genesis 2 role of being a helpmate, but we help our husbands be the men God designed them to be. That’s a marvelous vocation.” — Joni Eareckson Tada*

Surely you’ve seen him trudging behind his wife in the mall. His eyes are glazed over and downcast. He seems to be in an almost comatose state. He is the “neutered man.” At one time he may have seen himself as some type of leader, exhibiting certain skills and strengths, willing to take a risk in order to achieve and explore, to conquer new territory and hurdle obstacles. He no longer tries. He has lost his zeal for living and his confidence as a man and leader. And the greatest risk he takes now is to make feeble suggestions to his domineering wife. If we could read his mind, would it be filled with resentment, or would we find a blank emptiness, the resentment long ago dissolved into an ocean of hopelessness?

Many women confuse their assigned role of “helper” with that of “controller.” Rather than cheering on their man, they resort to ordering him around. This type of woman sees her husband as less than what she thinks he should be and resorts to various pressure tactics to whip him into shape—for his own good, of course! Rather than applauding and praising his achievements, she finds ways to critique him with the justification that she is merely “helping” him. When silence and supportive smiles would be appropriate, she blasts him with her opinionated rhetoric until he quietly retreats.

The feminine role of helper does not imply silent acquiescence toward a mate who is clearly making foolish choices, but it is a role that finds creative and supportive means to bring out the best in the men around us. If the men around us have lost the joy of manhood, their confidence to lead, and the desire to cherish us, it may be that we have stripped them of their masculinity through our rejection of the helper role.

Take Time to Reflect

Do the men around you have the confidence to make leadership decisions, even if it means conflicting with your opinion? Do men seem to fear having discussions with you?If you are married, does your husband’s countenance and attitude reflect mature masculinity? Does your husband seem to resent you? Has your husband retreated into a “silent but safe” world?

Do you need to refuel your appreciation for your husband? Read Song of Solomon 1-2. Notice the words of admiration that the bride expresses. Also, if you have never taken the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for wives, consider doing so. If you are single, consider passing on the challenge to someone who is married. (You’ll also find encouragement for your relationship with Christ in the Song of Solomon reading!)

True Woman Wyoming Prayer Focus

Pray for God to prepare the hearts of all of the women who will be attending True Woman Wyoming. Ask Him to speak His truth to the attendees during the conference and to grant His daughters the vision to see clearly the subtle- yet very dangerous- lies to enemy has used to make us behave like women of the world instead of women of the Word.